Mr. Sparkle - Anabolic Moderator

[Mr. Sparkle]

I grew up a skinny kid.... really skinny. People would ask my mom if I was sick, or what was wrong with me. I got made fun of profusely when I was in school. I came into my sophomore year at 5 9 125.... I did not like being so small and weak. So I started to work out. Read tons of muscle and fiction and flex... I thought protein powder was the key... and about that time creatine became the hot ticket.... I spent a lot of time and money for all of that crap.... so by my senior year, I was 5 11 at 165.... I would gain, then get sick, then gain and get sick.... so for a few years I really did not gain that much weight.... I was really frustrated! I started using andro and it helped but I was really about to give up.... at this time I was 19... I was done with training.... I stopped for about 6 months... saw the muscle I worked so hard for disappear.... then one day I decided to pick it up again... at this time one of my buddies was on some deca, eq and winny I saw the weight that he gained and I wanted to do the same... so I got my ass online and found AR. I read and read, actually never stopped... I ignored what the older guys said of Im too young... and I can grow more just by eating. Blah what did they know, they do not have my metabolism... they were not getting sick of losing and gaining weight.

So I decided that I will read and learn and then do a cycle... I wanted to make clean gains... so I chose prop. I used 100mg EOD.... I started at 174 : If I knew then what I know now..... although I might not be sitting here right now typing all of this out..... I might still weigh 160.... who knows.... would I go back and change it? Im not sure, it made me who I am today....

So back to the cycle.... I got some test from a guy at my gym... it was tokkyyo... prop... I remember the day I shot, I was so scared.... I was shaking so bad when I stuck the needle in my leg.... I remember putting it in, and not pushing the plunger down.. wondering if this is really worth it.... so I aspirated and pushed... weird feeling... I bet I sat there 4 min with that thing in my leg.... got up and walked around. Then I felt the prop pain... it hurt for over a week.... so I was hurting needless to say.... both quads both glutes.... ouch...
So the next day I was so happy to work out.... could not wait... Im going to get big.... so my cycle went like any other cycle that should not have happened.... I gained 21 lbs.... I was smart about my PCT... I used HCG to ease into my PCT and kept 17lbs... so I was up to 191 at about 9% BF... I was enjoying my new size... I felt good about myself... but then I started to get really really depressed... but it went away.... did not make since until later....

Fast forward almost a year.... same stuff, I got sick and lost weight and I gained it back then did my prop, tren var cycle.... I got to 196 at 8% or so.... heaviest I have ever been
Then it hit me.... worst time of my life for the next few months... I ended that cycle July of 04...... August... I get tested for ADHD and depression.... I find out I have both..... I felt I did not need to be on meds... then Septrmber my girlfriend of over two years left me... I was going to marry her... it was perfect... even to this day I still do not know why...

That is when I felt my depression kick in.... for the next few months I ate like a girl... and lost weight too.... I was down to 185 but about 10%... I did not train... I did not do much of anything... I did not care.... at all.... Then I got my act together, got back in the gym started eating again... Finally I was coming back.... nope... I caught a NASTY stomach bug, which let to a prostate infection... which left me even lighter... 177 so its been a long endeavor...
This was the time that I took and used all that I had... my faith... Before this I felt that I was a strong Christian. Looking back I can see that I was immature in my faith. So I turned to all that I had, my faith in Christ... Now I know that it feels like to walk with God.... once again, if it did not happen this way I would not be who I am....If you want me to elaborate shoot me a PM.

Some of you may know about my cycles... well lack there of. How I use insulin and LR3 to gain weight... well that is because of my ADHD. When I add a hormone to the mix it messes with me so bad that it cancels out my medication and I reverberate back to my old habits. So I use slin and LR3 as they do not affect me... that is why I advocate them and know so much about them... you use what you know


Sorry for the length.... just wanted to share a lot.... thanks for reading!
-MS